Marriage is a sacred commitment that can provide a life full of love, laughter, and family. Not to be taken lightly, marriage also takes a lot of patience, forgiveness, and work. When a partner in a marriage suffers from substance abuse, the marriage will also suffer. Substance abuse is a silent disruptor of marriages, eroding the cornerstones of a successful relationship. Studies show a distinct connection between addiction and divorce, with substance abuse becoming one of the primary reasons many couples separate.
In this article, we will examine some key components of a successful marriage and signs that your marriage is at risk due to a partner with an addiction. Recognizing the early signs of substance abuse and understanding how it can undermine a relationship is the first step toward healing. For couples facing these challenges, recovery and healing are essential to restore health and stability and give the marriage a fighting chance.
Key Components of a Successful Marriage
Recognizing that all people and relationships are uniquely different, there are similarities found in all successful marriages. Love, commitment, and intentional effort are the building blocks of a successful marriage along with the following attributes:
- Trust
- Respect, Honor, and Value
- Good Communication
- Emotional and Physical Intimacy
- Forgiveness
Signs that Substance Abuse Might be Affecting Your Marriage
Addiction and substance abuse is a progressive disease that can erode a relationship over time. Addiction significantly increases divorce rates and is the third most stated reason for divorce in women and the eighth for men. Following is a list of signs that substance abuse may be affecting your marriage.
- A notable increase in secrecy or deceit
- Emotional distance or loss of emotional connection
- Increased conflict
- Decreased communication or withdrawal
- Decreased intimacy
- Financial problems
- Neglecting responsibilities
The Impact of Substance Abuse on Marriage
Understanding how substance abuse impacts a marriage can be the first step toward healing. Each of the issues below are common reasons why substance abuse negatively affects marriages. Like rippling water, these problems lead to bigger disruptions and are all connected.
Trust Issues: Trust is a cornerstone of any good relationship. Addiction can lead to lying, secrecy, and broken promises. This breach of trust can cause the individual without addiction to struggle with insecurities, feelings of betrayal, and a loss of respect for their partner.
Bad Communication: Many times those suffering from substance abuse are not open and honest with their partners. This lack of communication can lead to misunderstandings, unresolved conflicts, and the meaningful interaction that is important for all relationships.
Emotional Distance: The emotional bond of marriage, built on trust and communication, can be greatly impacted because of substance abuse. Withdrawal, caused by shame, makes the addict emotionally unavailable instigating feelings of loneliness, helplessness, and frustration for both involved. Substance abuse can also decrease a person’s ability to show empathy making them less sensitive to their partner’s emotions.
Intimacy: Substance abuse has many physical effects that can take a toll on a person, including intimacy. Sexual dysfunction and a decrease in libido both contribute to a lack of intimacy in a relationship. The emotional distance for both individuals in the marriage, the addict and the non-addict, will also lead to less intimacy.
Financial Problems: Financial strain will affect most marriages at some point. However, substance abuse has the potential to add financial strain in some big ways. Being a progressive disease, substance abuse can cause a person to be unable to manage their daily responsibilities, like work, causing a loss of income. Also, legal troubles like DUI’s are costly causing more economic instability due to legal fees and loss of work. The cost of the addiction also contributes to financial stress in a marriage.
Physical and Mental Health Problems: Both people in a marriage can suffer from physical and mental problems resulting from all the negative effects associated with substance abuse. Anxiety and depression can affect both parties and the addict is prone to physical ailments like liver disease, stomach issues, and an increased risk of infections along with many others.
Steps Toward Healing and Recovery
Healing a marriage from substance abuse is a process that requires commitment, forgiveness, and love from both involved.
Recognizing the problem is the first step towards healing and recovery. If any of the previously mentioned problems are occurring in a marriage, there is a good chance substance abuse is to blame.
Seeking drug and alcohol treatment in Salt Lake City can provide counseling, therapy, and rehabilitation. Professional help is available for the one suffering from an addiction and the person living with them, offering help for both in the marriage. Individual therapy and couples therapy help to address the relationship dynamics that are affected by addiction.
Trust must be rebuilt and starts with transparency, accountability, and commitment.
Improving communication using the tools learned in therapy can help resolve conflicts in a healthy way that allows for emotional expression.
With regained trust and improved communication, partners can strengthen the intimacy in the relationship. Rebuilding healthy physical and emotional connections helps to foster a stronger marriage.
From Negative Impact to Positive
Healing a marriage that has been impacted by substance abuse is not an easy task, but one that can lead to meaningful transformation and renewed commitment. Recognizing the signs, understanding the impact, and taking steps toward recovery are crucial in giving your relationship a fighting chance. Substance abuse may erode trust, intimacy, and communication, but with professional support, love, and intentional effort, couples can rebuild a strong foundation of their marriage. Remember, no marriage is beyond hope when both partners are willing to seek help and work together. Recovery is not only about overcoming addiction, it’s about rediscovering the love, respect, and connection that first brought you together. By choosing healing, you choose not only to save your marriage but to create a healthier, brighter future for both individuals involved.
